A Secret Affair
by PsychicDreams
Summary: Watanuki adores his girlfriend, Himawari, but his heart yearns for something more.


**A Secret Affair**

Kunogi Himawari was, without a doubt, a beautiful girl and he didn't miss all the envious glances he had over dating her. Her hair gleamed in the sunlight, long and lusciously thick. The smile she graced over him was full of feeling and affection. Simple touches from her conveyed her adoration easily.

Watanuki knew that he was a very fortunate boy. After so many months of pining for her, his dream had come true. He'd been so happy that he had been bouncing off the walls. Two years later, he had begun to wonder why.

She was a very lovely and thoughtful girl. She was perfect in all ways. But something was missing between them. As she lay in his arms at nights, sleeping with her hair all pooled around her like tiny, black rivers, she was a beauty to behold. And she wanted, above all else, to help people. She had just the right heart for being the nurse she desperately wanted to become once she had finished college.

But she didn't understand his world.

Watanuki packed up his things after class and left the university under watchful eyes. He knew those eyes and those eyes had become part of his dreams at nights. Golden, they were, with flecks of brown and they were so deep that he knew that if he let himself, he could drown in them. And the owner of those eyes had a physique to die for. How many times would he lie in his bed alone lately and dream of running his nails lightly down those muscled shoulders and spine?

Doumeki Shizuka was always watching him.

Today was the day. He was going to do something about those dreams, even if it brought his world crashing down. His feet stopped moving and he waited. It took a moment, but slowly there was another presence beside him. They hadn't actually walked to his home or Yuuko's shop together in a year. Oh, he was always nearby and that kept the spirits away, but never actually together as they had during his high school days.

"Going to Yuuko's shop today?"

"No. She gave me the day off."

There was a faint grunt that took the place of a nondescript "ah" on any other person and silence fell again. Watanuki's sapphire gaze flickered to the left to look at him and then back forward before they were caught.

In high school, Doumeki had been the center of thousands of girls' dreams and he had been handsome. In college, two years later, he was the epitome of a heartthrob. Strong jaws, deep eyes, and broad shoulders were what drew the attention at a first glance. When the shock faded, other details, smaller ones, became visible. Like the large, but skillful hands that still drew a bow as expertly as he had when he was in high school. Jet-black hair, longer now, that fell roguishly over his brows. An athlete he was, and even in as loose a shirt as he wore, his muscles could still be seen.

It was Doumeki, he had to admit, that often occupied his thoughts when he made love with Himawari. It was a shameful thing, he knew, to think of someone else in such an intimate circumstance, but he couldn't help it. Maybe if just once, if they…then it would get out of his system and things with Himawari could go back to the way they had been two years ago. His heart wouldn't yearn for something more, something unattainable.

"Miss your lunches."

Watanuki paused at the steps to the apartment building and turned to look at Doumeki, who looked as stoic as usual. That, at least, had not changed.

"I can make you something, for old time's sake."

Doumeki's eyes narrowed and he could see that something was up. It was his own fault really; he wasn't acting like normal. Even after two years, the feeling of annoyance that Doumeki could produce in him remained unchanged and as strong as ever. His bouts of yelling at the archer had not ceased. So it was no wonder the offer sent off warning bells.

"Sure."

But he knew Doumeki too, he thought as led them upstairs. He knew that the taller boy, always still taller than he, would come up with him; if only to find out why he was different today.

It was today because Himawari was out of town. She had taken a few days off from classes to visit an aunt or someone. Watanuki, disgraceful as it was to admit, hadn't been interested so he couldn't remember what she said specifically. All that he had registered would be that she would be gone and he could get whatever insane feelings and urges he was having out of system before she got back. Sweet girl that she was, she didn't notice any of his preoccupation.

Doumeki's eyes again…they were on him like a hawk as he sat down in his small living room. It didn't take long for Watanuki to heat up in the kitchen what he'd prepared the night before. In truth, he'd been preparing everything for this day. It would be the only time and it would fix the problem, damn it. It didn't help that, all in all, Watanuki actually _did_ like and respect the archer, deep down where the light of day couldn't hit on the feelings. It was something he rarely admitted to himself and to no one else.

"So what's up exactly?"

Watanuki blinked, realizing that in his introspections, he had brought the food and sat down already without conscious thought. He shrugged and looked away, but couldn't help quick sideways glances at that stunning figure as he ate. Doumeki looked completely focused on the food, but he'd learned the hard way over the past two years that Doumeki never stopped thinking.

It was a small meal, but it allowed the shorter boy to screw up his courage for the next act. He rubbed his eyes a little before remembering that he really shouldn't do that. His glasses were in a small case on his desk and he had chosen contacts about a year ago, on Himawari's good-natured insistence.

"I still say you look sexier with the glasses on."

Watanuki blinked and his jaw practically dropped to the small table, train of thought completely derailed. It was uncanny how Doumeki had managed to say something that was so similar to what he'd been thinking about just then. "WHAT did you just say?!"

He couldn't quite believe it. Did those words just come from Doumeki's mouth? But the archer didn't at all seem fazed, as if it was an every day occurrence. His throat became dry and the urge to just kiss the boy senseless came on so strong, it was hard to resist. Sure, that had been his plan in the beginning, but his stomach was full of knots now that they were in his apartment alone together. He hadn't felt nervous about sex at all, even with Himawari, for a year or more. Not since the first time he'd been with his girlfriend.

"You okay? Your face is getting red."

It was now or never…He had to know. He had to know if his dreams meant a damn thing and a single kiss could tell him. His hand gripped into a fist in his lap and he leaned forward.

It was hardly elegant. In fact, it was clumsy, what with the table in the way and nerves and all. Nor did it last long. When he pulled away, he'd realized he'd never seen Doumeki shocked in his life. The stoic expression hadn't failed. Or rather, he was in a state of shock so extreme that no emotions _could_ come through. And the only way he knew of it was because of those golden eyes that were almost dull and in all his time, they were never dull. Cloaked by stoicism, yes, but never dull.

It was enough to tell him what he wanted to know. He was attracted to Doumeki; far beyond attracted really. He'd wanted Himawari, but he _needed_ Doumeki. He shifted on his knees and pounced on the archer, pressing him to the ground as his greedy lips sought out those stoic, thin ones.

Doumeki's hands on his shoulders managed to push him away and bring a little of his senses back. He sighed in protest. "What is it?"

"What is it?" Doumeki repeated in consternation. "'What is it' is you attempting to seduce me when you have a girlfriend. And also assuming that I'm physically interested in you."

Watanuki glanced down at their hips and the bulge in Doumeki's trousers. With a raised eyebrow, he turned back to those golden, watchful eyes. His silence was eloquent enough.

The archer sighed. "Well, okay, so maybe the last one is rather obvious. But what about Kunogi? I thought you two were in love."

He pulled off the archer, sitting up and looking away. "Things…" This was going to be extremely hard to say. "I'm not…well…we make love, but it's not…Damn it, Doumeki, I want you so just shut up about it!"

It was hardly elegant, but it was the bald-faced truth and Doumeki could see that for himself if he just looked down at his waist. He ran his hands in a nervous manner on trousers, and his stomach twisted in three times the knots it had been in before. He couldn't ever remember being this nervous in years.

"Watanuki, if it's like that with Kunogi, why do you stay with her?"

Watanuki didn't want to answer any questions and instead, he merely "tackled" Doumeki again, kissing him so deeply that when he pulled away, the archer looked a little senseless. "Stop asking questions! I want you and you want me. Let it start and end with that."

And when he touched Doumeki through his pants, the protests on the other boy's lips died away. Clothes didn't last long and the feeling of grinding against Doumeki, skin on skin, was unbelievable. He'd never felt so aroused or forceful in his life. It wasn't slow or gentle. What they did was feral and fast and hard, giving in to raw need right on his living room floor.

He lost count how many times they'd done it that night; it had all become a pleasurable blur. All he knew was that the next truly conscious thought he had was of lying on the floor, sweating and heaving in breath next to Doumeki, who looked ready to pass out.

It was like that for the next two days until Himawari returned from her trip.

Watanuki had thought he'd had Doumeki out of his system, but he found that their eyes would meet across the courtyard at lunch as he sat alone with his girlfriend, an arm draped around her. Memories of the heated three days she'd been gone and they'd touched and screwed consumed him. That was the starting of it all.

After that, they always seemed to manage to find a secluded place to work out their lust and work it out they did. He always found it difficult to stand right afterwards. And he tried to ignore that it wasn't just his body that wanted Doumeki. Every slight smile of that archer sent his pulse racing, in the way that Himawari had used to do.

It had to be kept a secret. He never gave an answer to Doumeki when he asked why he didn't break up with Himawari. All he ever focused on was their combined need. It was the only way he stayed sane.

Himawari never even noticed or questioned when he appeared a little too tired or sweaty.

**-end-**

Disclaimer: I don't own xxxholic (and I almost forgot about this fic I did) 


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